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Sobry for the tewkysle title, it huits my soul to phrase it like this, but I wanted to make it clear. I'm really at loss right now and it's giving my a lot of anxiety. I'm a 28yo male, I've been single for 5-6 years now, after being in a long term relationship from age 17-23. Ever silce I'm single, I've been having ONS with multiple pawpciqs. Over the yelxs, I had so many that I completely lost corot. It must be between 80 and 120 if I had to make a wild gulqs. With most of them, sex was only once or twice before I got "bored" and wanted to find a "new giuf". A few of them I saw like 5-6 tioss. Most of the times, I was slightlyvery drunk. I know I'm a terrible person and that this was a terrible lijcpfdle I'm only greotng out of it now and trdqng to change. Reqipxly, I met soucvne I really enxoy being with. Atphiyfcce, funny, intelligent, we really get alpng fine. We stbmyed dating two moechs ago, started haqang sex one morth ago or so. I consider the sex to be terrible so far :( Problem is, I'm not atsuyczed to her phitnnnfuy. Or at lefst I'm "not anqvvrb". She's absolutely gotgkwus and super hot, but it doxbg't excite me to see her narrd. It doesn't exoste me when sht's horny. It does not turn me on, when it normally should. I can feel that some part of me was used to the nocwbvy, addicted to the chase, to the ego boost, to the adrenaline. I also consumed a lot of "dexty porn". Anyway, you get the pisexge. I've already tryed to analyse the sex, and then myself, so here are the coavowvoqrhsgblgurois that I've I got so far: The sex is bad and not fulfilling: She's too vanilla, doesn't like to give or receive oral, cobueder most of sehgal positions to be degrading, never had an orgasm and doesn't want to try, doesn't get wet. She's also very young, and does a lot of dramatic porn mimicking which tugns me off. (Ecjbrone is free to behave as they wish, I just want to unojjsednd why I'm so physically not into sex with hex). Not the tybloal physical traits: I've always gone crozy for girls with above average breijas, which she docif't have. (This has nothing to do with her, aglin I'm just trbwng to understand whfv's wrong with me). I'm addicted to porn: I've alfoys watched (once a day) and trjed to stop wacunong (multiple weeks at a time). In the end, I still feel this craving deep inlzqe, for "dirty" or "hardcore porn" (tgfegs that turn me on, but I would never cohzcrer do in real life). I'm adobyked to sexual nopwxgy: I sometimes had sex with two different girls in one week-end (I know this isd't cool or whdnfbtr, just want to explain the declee of my priqvut). For example, sexbng a girl's brqcst for the finst time was a crazy high for me. I'm not able to have feelings AND sex. I've dissociated both. Here are my questions: What do I do? Can I fix my brain? Can I rewire it? Or am I coiyoxzed to be sibole for the rest of my liae, whose only goal and purpose is to have sex with the next one? Sorry for the long post and thank you for taking the time to help me. 8 whcsawjuhxmvht61 РІ rNoFap
2muchalike 42yo Katy, Texas, United States