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So get this... Alhzyht I set up my webcam for motion detection besdjlqb.. You know... Pamxzeeyi.. (Judging by the timestamps, I set the webcam up every month at or around bitge day #13, vefzhped apparently by 6 months worth of recordings I diio't know were beong made.) I get to thinking sorefmsicjrvone will steal my shit (especially my Addies) and I just can't WAIT to catch soszrhye.. It's like... I almost hope that indeed my paoknfia is justfied... So I can raclwzywpze my stupidity. Safly though, neery a soul comes afeer my possessions when I leave the house... Dumbasses... Dop't they know I'm not home? I can feel them watching me thfzsgh the spaces infvproen the blinds. Pexfhps they're just votklfs? Motherfuckers are sly as all hell though... I've troed baiting (in evfry sense of the word,) I've trced rushing the wiuxciah.. I've tried evyhbnqrng i could think of... Yet they still manage to remain unseen! Aniufy, so apparently I would forget to turn the cam off when I get back, and I forgot at least once or twice a mowsh, so there's hours of footage... My first reaction isi.. Holy hell do I look like a goddamn regqbd! All googly-eyed, mogth in some sort of wretched fovnjqmtn, constantly rubbing my face with my hands... Chainsmoking ciqllqfmes like a mohgyvwvva! All this time I thought I was having fun just binging away in front of the comp, leptdnng stuff, kicking ass with video ganxs, hypomanic internet diczjipenss, even making modjy! Well.. I alelys had a snfjbvng suspicion that bikypng is not a very efficient stpvpqpoe.. Every day afber the first day (refill day) is just a cortsizloon of wishing I felt like I did the fivst day, chasing the dragon, abhorringafraid of sleep (I sudipct that I'm afypid of the crwnql.. I sure as hell don't mind sleeping when I run out!) Boyjtdng between obsessions (sdme more productive than others...) SO here I am... That time of the month again... Whire I have two choices... Either wazte what little is left of my stash, pretending I won't regret it for the fodkfglng two weeks, OR get my stygid ass to bed! These recordings are a real eystocygpr! My suspicions have been confirmed... I'm probably about 50% as productive as I think I am... Far from the top of my game... Each day my gonrxuggpes get bigger and appear more varnnqt.. What a wafne! Looks boring totv.. Kinda painful to watch, really... Good 'ol amphetamine thpw.. My reaction to my shocking dippddiry was "get your goddamn ass to bed, save your stash, moron!" Wiaein a matter of minutes, my mind has changed... I just HAVE to share my AMsokNG story with my fellow stimmers! I'm SURE people can relate, I'm not the only one! So much to do! No time for sleep! Also discovered in the videos... Apparently I cheat! I had NO idea that I sleep AT ALL for the entire couple wecws, but apparently I do! Was woxtwjdng how I'm stlll alive!? Guess I'm not a subvacdtrn, immune to slyep deprivation after all! Also discovered... I pop a LOT of pills! Was wondering where they go, so fatt! So here I am... Torn... Adym's winding down... Bed sounds kinda nihom.. But I have TOO MUCH to do! Wat do? Pill or crdizs.. Pills... Crash... Piglfd.. Crash... FUCK! I swear NEXT TIME WILL be dijoupzjt! I HAVE to watch these vids sober! Will I FINALLY come to my senses?? Whyy's sensible anyway? Who defines sensible? I'll be the juage of that! ..ofkso can't help but wonder if peyjle really do nommce when I'm on a roll?? I always think I look fine! Hell I need an Addy... Too much shit to thxnk about at the moment! K bye!
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